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Women, on the other hand, message and respond most often to men about their own age. Once they reach 35, women actually respond more often to younger guys.
How Young is Too Young to Date?
But because men are usually the conversation starters, the older-man-younger-woman paradigm prevails. Alright, so maybe OkCupid en masse follows dating age conventions, but what about those women who want to flip the norm on its head? How difficult is it for them to date a younger man?
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What I found was kind of surprising. When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages. A year-old woman will have better luck messaging a year-old man than a year-old one, according to the data. And a year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a year-old woman than a message from any other age group.
Stop Missing Dating Opportunities
When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed. I asked my friend Trevor, a year-old mathematician, what he made of it. They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just better … no stupid selfie-only profiles. Did that explain it? Across all ages, straight women write shorter profiles than straight men.
Older men often date younger women, but everyone can benefit when the age gap is reversed
And then there are those year-old women who really clean up with the year-old dudes. Cindy has been dating men in their 20s for the past 15 years. Working in tech, she sometimes feels she has more in common with somethings than older men.
When I spoke with women who message much younger men on OkCupid, most of them told me something similar. Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's.
When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is However, society places more restrictive age limits of 71 and 75 respectively. Overall, the creepiness rule does not accurately represent what people find socially acceptable; people are more judgmental than what the creepiness rule implies.
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If the creepiness rule is wrong, then I needed a new rule to guide my non-existent love life. As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is However, when Lauren is 30, she is supposed to date someone who is at least I not only created separate rules for men and women but also created different rules to determine how old and how young each gender can date.
Older Men Who Like Younger Women Aren't Creeps
The charts below compares the outputs of the revised rules with the predictions of the original creepiness rule. In almost all scenarios, the revised rules are more restrictive than what the creepiness rule would suggest. I think there are opportunities to build on this oh-so-important research.
What is the actual average age difference between couples? How would this research translate to same-sex relationships? At the end of the day, this article was about how people think, not how people should think. Look for relationships that just make you happy. If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:.
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